How to get respect at work without being a /jerk? difficult co-worker? sarcastic/smart?

i have co-worker that i have helped numerous times and out of nowhere in crowds he'll disrespect me because of my height. i usually respond with nothing, because i 1. suck at comebacks 2. honestly don't want to play the game with him. the result is me feeling really crappy and all in all, it lowers my self esteem; though i don't show it at work. i want to be respected at work and i know my job fairly well, but the politics of the workplace throw me out to be a crappy worker. I really don't like to participate in the politics in the workplace because all they focus on is slandering another persons credibility, then again if you don't participate it's also possible to be outcasted because you don't agree with how another person might feel... can anyone understand? I remember seeing this book that represented exactly how i felt, how to be respected at work without being a jerk, i can't seem to find it though. if anyone can locate that for me, please. I have had a supervisor that I have completed hated, and i don't want to be nothing at all like him if / when i ever got lucky to be in a leadership position, though i don't think it'll happen. oh, and the possibility of quitting isn't there, there's no quits in the military. So if you can guide me it'd be much appreciated, thanks!